Evolution of Homosapein Horribleamngus


I love nature and that entire motherly love this lady has provided. It is nice to wake up early in the morning to see sunrise, visit green coloured parks and enjoy clean morning air. The sights of birds playing and chirping remind you of your young ones.

It is all good and peaceful; the blood pressure is getting normal. Just then, Mr. T makes entry with his loyal son, his DOG. He is occupied with a number of mutts, all barking at the heir. The peaceful park is a line-of-control area now; the blood pressure is getting bad. The heir is there to do his morning rituals, and he does that proudly. Mr. T will just ignore and start a chat with some other fellow in park. The heir rubs his paw in soil, telling he is done. The mutt chorus-band was playing all this time; also few were making fecal contribution to the park as well. The park is no longer what was supposed it to be, it is GONE TO THE DOGS!!!!!.

I sit and watch this nearly every day. Not that people objected to Mr. T but their voices were silenced. “Dogs like to do it in open, it is their nature...... “came the answer. Mr. T could pick the droppings in a plastic bag and flush it at home, but naturally, it is against Mr. T’s nature.

People even tried to get the mongrels out of the picture, but mutts have benefactors. Even, faith came to their protection. Well apparently, black dogs are always in demand. If any mother feels that her child is under influence of an evil eye of someone, feeding a black dog to stop evil effects is one of generally accepted routine. Then why cannot they be neutered; “No way, it is against nature...." .

A self-taught neighbour who knows everything, Mr. I, commented that it was part of evolution and this is how world will gradually come to end. Mr. I say all such things in our conversation, which I have learnt to smile and ignore, but that day I just could not ignore it. It must be that I was again reprimanded for leaving wet towel in the bathroom, or I forgot to dust my laptop, or maybe I forgot to prepare correct flavoured tea. The reason doesn’t matter for I was actually comparing myself with Mr. T and thinking why is he like he is? What steps in the evolution process made him confident to take on world for a dog, whereas I unable to defend my wet towel?

Darwin died many years before I came into this world, so there was no way to get his views [1]. I did the next best thing; I decided to study whatever there was written for evolution. The very first chapter of evolution was confusing itself. No one has an idea where we come from? Remains suggest that humans lived in caves for ages, survived and learnt to be modern man. Some says we evolved from naked monkeys, other believe we came from naked people at Mars or other such place, and also then there is religion that says GOD made us, the naked people. This filled me with more questions, such as:

Monkey Theory:

a: If monkeys evolved into humans, then why do I still see monkeys?

Alien Theory:

a: Why did people from different planet decided to land here? If they had technology to travel time and space couldn’t they come with clothes or building materials etc? (Steve must be happy that they didn’t come with an iphone or else he would have been Jobs-less !!!!)

b: Why Asians, Europeans, Orientals and Africans all look different? Did many different aliens come over here? Again, all of them naked !!!!!

c: Not one single of them came with paper and pen. No tools whatsoever.

d: They hunted, dined and painted. Well, at least this part is 100% human.

GOD Theory:

a: Depending on the religion you practise, your God created this entire world. It was done in 7 days, 7 months or 7 years depending on the choice. Well, seven rhymes with heaven.

b: Amazingly, this theory is written, documented and preserved. It is narrated in so detail that you wonder whether God sent paper and pen along with the human.

c. Interestingly, theories from various religions tend to overlap at stages or steps. They have some level of uniformity.

All the confusion with just one linking feature, i.e. naked human at beginning. I decided to study this angle in detail. Few clicks on my laptop, and I was staring at “the beginning”. Actually, admired the beginning so much that forgot to see wife standing right behind me. Well, subsequent hours were spent in silent but hostile environment. The home felt like Gestapo headquarters and I was sternly interrogated about the purpose and application. My explanations were considered childish and my motives unhealthy for a married man [2]. Though, discussion-cum-interrogation was tough on me but I realised why Eve was able to convince Adam to eat the apple. Apple is soft and easy bite, Adam would have gone an eaten a jackfruit had Eve done the right ouche’s and ahha’s.

This experience was able to explain a part of human evolution but I was still missing the big picture. It was understandable that human can be tempted to do unthinkable acts but still didn’t explain the approach of Mr. T. Then it struck me, is it possible that Mr. T is no longer Homosapien, and whether he has evolved into something else.

The theory is simple: You take a normal earth man (Homosapien) and add few sins [3] to it. The subsequent creature, Homosapein Horribleamngus (Homosapein H.) is one who has no respect for anything or anyone. His idea is plain and simple, he has H, as in for High and Mighty, where he always has the last say. Whereas, if you add ALL the sins to a person, you get a Multi-Level Marketing Corporation.

more to be added .......

1. Darwin, 12 February 1809 - 19 April 1882.

2. The author wants to publish a book titled “What to say or not to say to Wife”. No publisher has agreed to publish. They say it deals with a lot of trade secrets.

3. Never knew there are so many sins. Last I checked the number is above 600 for Bible. Hindu religious textbook, Garud Puran too quotes nearly an equivalent number or even more. This book details sins and their subsequent after-death punishment. It also teaches how to atone your sins during your life time ...... :-)